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Alternative Lifestyle Glossary of Terms

To fully understand the rapidly changing alternative lifestyle world, one should understand the language used.

Starting out with relationship classifications. Have you wondered where you “belong” within the lifestyle? Personally, I don’t like labeling myself or relationships, as I prefer staying as open minded as possible in all scenario. However, these terms may help guide you when understanding your own wants and needs.

Remember, this is your lifestyle and can be lived however YOU choose.

Relationship Classifications

BDSM Non-Monogamy

BDSM elements can be present in any relationship form but some non-monogamy relationships allow for an extra BDSM relationship, either with or without a sexual component. It’s usually, but not always because the other partner just doesn’t share the same kinks as their partner.

Closed V

The closed V is a handy way of describing the dynamics of a polyamorous relationship where two people share a romantic and sexual connection with the third, but not to each other. The third person who is involved with both people is sometimes called “the hinge of the V.” And since the two “legs” of the V don’t connect together, it doesn’t make a triangle. A closed V is generally used when both partners have a decent level of closeness otherwise but aren’t sexually involved. This generally comes up when all three partners live together but don’t operate as a triad.

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is the practice of taking part in romantic relationships that are not completely exclusive between two people. The practice of having more than one sexual partner, although the “ethical” part is used to differentiate it from cheating. It’s also sometimes called consensual non-monogamy or sometimes just plain ol’ open relationships.

Hierarchical Polyamory

In this situation, a couple, either married or in a long-term relationship, decide to embark on the journey of polyamory together. But the hierarchical polyamorous couple is open and transparent that they are each other’s priorities and that their relationship comes first. This relationship is called the Primary. The arrangement is usually consensual and understanding among all parties.


Relationships that are romantically monogamous also allow for agreed-upon outside sexual relationships. Usually, you live your lives as a monogamous couple with all of the benefits, but you happen to engage in outside sexual play at times,”


A form of polyamory in which a group of people agrees to be sexually exclusive with each other and not have lovers outside of the group. Also known as a “polycule.”


A quad is genuinely a free-for-all. Four people maintain some kind of romantic and sexual connection, but it’s not necessarily in every configuration. In fact, it’s fairly common for at least one person in a quad to have a close relationship but not a sexual one, to another person in the group.

Relationship Anarchy

The application of anarchist principles to intimate relationships. Its values include autonomy, anti-hierarchical practices, lack of state control, anti-normativity, and community interdependence.

Throuple or Triad

In a traditional triad, all partners are in a romantic and sexual relationship with each other. So a triad actually has four relationships playing out: the one-on-one relationship between each person in the triad to each other, and then the relationship between all three partners.

Lifestyle Glossary


A form of personal relationship centering around activities that are erotic but may not be sexual, and which may include the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play.


Big Beautiful Woman.


Similar to a bull, it is the other man but specifically for Stag/Vexen arrangments. A Buck understands the Stag is being generous by sharing the amazing Vixen experience with him. Bucks are very respectful and grateful towards Stags for being able to share in the physical connection and understand not to infringe on the emotional connection.


Usually, a bull refers to any man who is having sex with a hotwife who isn’t her husband/partner. He is generally an alpha dominant male and knows that he is there to deliver great sex to the hotwife and then leave and that that is his only purpose. Whereas she has an emotional connection with her husband, a hotwife’s relationship with her bull is purely sexual.


Refers to any confident, mature woman and is not limited to a hotwife. Though many hotwives are desired by younger men who enjoy being with a lady that knows what she wants from his young & virile body. If you are looking to attract younger men for your hotwifing, make sure to talk about being a sexy cougar in your profile.


This refers to the fluids left inside a lady after having unprotected sex to completion. Some cuckold husbands enjoy being made to clean it up as part of their reconnection routine.

Closed Group Swinging

A form of swinging that involves participants having multiple sexual partners who are all within a specific group of people. A common example of closed-group swinging is when couples who are friends regularly switch partners.


A cuckold is a husband who enjoys his hotwife having sex with alpha men instead of himself. He likes the submissive elements of hotwifing and enjoys the degradation and humiliation aspects. In these arrangements, the hotwife is superior and free to do what she pleases outside of the marriage. Many powerful men enjoy being a cuckold because it provides them the freedom of not having to control or take care of anything. There are many variations of cuckolds ranging from simply being a witness to actively being humiliated to the cuckold being forced to stay home and have to hear about it later.

DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell)

Sometimes abbreviated as DADT, this means there’s an agreement between primary partners that they’re aware that their partner will be seeking out additional relationships, but they don’t want to have to be confronted with the details of it. Basically, the other relationship functions like a cheating affair, but with one level of deceit removed.


Different room different partner


Down to Fuck


Double Vagina Penetration


When people meet in parking lots at a given time, and have sex in their cars. Some people swap partners, some singles looking for couples or other singles, and some people are more exhibitionists and just want other people to watch them.


The act of having sex in front of others.


Female / Male / Female 3-some.

Full Swing or Swap

When couples exchange partners including intercourse


A group of men who sexually enjoy a single lady one after another and sometimes all at once. The lady decides on the rules and boundaries and the men must follow it. Usually, the lady’s husband will be more of an event organizer making sure she stays safe and comfortable and does not participate in the sex acts.

Hall Pass

When one part of the couple has been given permission to play alone without the other partner – take heed of this and always verify with the other half of the said couple.

Hot Wife

A woman who indulges in sexual relationships outside of her marriage/relationship with her husband’s knowledge and consent. She can do this with solo adventures or with her husband. This is all part of the ethical non-monogamy umbrella.


A term which has evolved from simply being a swinger. and refers to being sexually open minded and does not preclude a person to multiple partner play.

Soft Swing or Swap

When couples exchange partners but do not have intercourse and is generally limited to swapping orally.

Meet & Greet

Generally held at a regular venue with the intention of a group of lifestyle couples meeting to gauge interest in a no pressure atmosphere.


Male / Female / Male 3-some.

Newbies: People who are new to the lifestyle.

Offsite Club or Party

A lifestyle venue that does not have play facilities on-site.

Onsite Club or Party

A lifestyle venue that has on-site facilities for play.

Same Room

When a couple plays or swaps it is within the same room as their partner.

Separate Room

Swapping and playing in a different room than your partner.


Same room different partner


Same room same partner


A Stag is the other half to a Vixen and was born out of the necessity to differentiate hotwife husbands who enjoy sharing their partner but are not submissive or into humiliation like a cuckold. To the hot wife, the Stag is always her main priority and the number one man in her life that no outsider will live up to. For the Stag he enjoys the voyeuristic aspect of watching his sexy wife perform and impress others. Knowing that other men find his wife desirable is a common motivation for many Stags. Some Stags prefer a more dominant role, as they direct the action and maybe even joins in for a threesome.


Non Lifestyle people / activities.


Many people use the term vixen as just another word for a hotwife. Vixens tend to enjoy the hotwife lifestyle together with their husband. They are a confident & sexy couple that both enjoy having the lady show off in front of other men. A Vixen’s husband is referred to as a Stag.


The act of watching others have sex.

Mizzy Bender alternative lifestyle businesswoman influencer
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About Mizzy Bender

Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to succes