My Heart, My Healing, My Story: The Truth Behind Mizzy Bender’s Thoughts
- Mizzy Bender
- Oct 30
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 1
My Heart, My Healing, My Story: The Truth Behind Mizzy Bender’s Thoughts
Mizzy Bender Blog : Bold. Unfiltered. Empowered
I have so much to share with you about what's been going on for the past couple of weeks. If you are on any of the social feeds, please share this out to your groups, to your pages, and spread the good word of Mizzy Bender and the empowerment behind my mission.
First and foremost, Mornings with Mizzy was on hold for two weeks, which feels like a fucking lifetime. I
can back this week with an emotional, yet informative show. Ya know, it's so crazy because every time I'm like, oh, I pulled back so much from social media, none would ever know from the outside. It looks like I'm doing the exact thing, but I know that I have slacked a great deal, and that's okay. That is the ebb and flow of it all. And actually, it is the exact thing I have been working through, with you all, as I tell my story. A lot of it is focused on self-growth and understanding the balance all while navigating some heavy topics.
Our Disney World Family Vacation
Disney World Reflections
Two weeks ago we went to Disney World to celebrate Spencer's daughter's 21st birthday, his dad's 75th birthday and his mom's retirement. Holy moly … that’s a lot to celebrate and I could not wait. In my opinion, Disney is the most inspirational place on Earth. I fucking love that place.
After visiting, I recognize how much COVID changed the way that we systematically work as individuals and out in society. It's really, really interesting to see how much our culture has changed from the simplest things such as the times that people are eating, and what's open or not is really fascinating. We learned a lot while talking to the staff. They each shared various bits of information along the way while having general conversation. The impact is incredible.
Disney World wasn't what I remembered it to be. It doesn't mean it was bad. It was just different. The world got a hold of it and took away some of its magic. Regardless, we had the greatest time. To see evolution, growth, and so much technological changes is something to talk about.
I am working on an entire blog of our Disney trip from start to finish. Stay tuned, as it's taking some time to put it all together. I have so many photos and videos (most captured with my meta glasses) to go through. In the meantime, you can pop over to my YouTube channel to see some of the rides I have already sliced up.
Unexpected trip to Exxxotica & NYC
Travel Adventures
This past weekend we made the unexpected trip to Exxxotica, NJ. Interestingly enough, I have the same pre/post COVID thoughts in regards to this as well. To watch times change so much is crazy. Everyone who has lived the lifestyle in some capacity prior to COVID will most likely have similar thoughts. More to come on this subject.
On the way home we stopped in NYC to walk the High Line. This has been on my imaginary life bucket list for years. To be able to check that off made my heart smile. The spontaneous adventures with Spencer really light up my life. Of course I enjoy all the lifestyle parties, but I love the outside world just as much. There is so much to see and experience. I don’t want to sell myself short. Spencer is so thoughtful when it comes to our travels which makes things so magical. When he says we are going on a trip, I immediately know it is going to be memorable. I also really look forward to creating the perfect Mizzy style to represent the trip itself. These are the things that bring my heart so much joy.
I cannot wait to bring my thoughts to life through my blogs. Stay tuned as they will be launching soon. Creating an entire travel blog section is something I have always wanted to do. We have explored so much, each one having such a unique story attached. I should really go back in time, sharing the most memorable. Now that we are approaching the fall/winter, I will have a lot more time on my hands to write. Sounds like a great project to add to my ongoing "create me" list.
My Mental Health Journey
Healing from Trauma
Ugh! This is a complicated one. I am starting to really dive into the trauma, what it means and how it has affected every aspect of my life. It is important for me to acknowledge and process it all so I can move on peacefully without triggers and anxiety. It is also recognizing I need to place everyone in my life in the appropriate buckets as I continue to heal. This is called boundaries - who knew! They are hard, messy and scary. I feel guilty for mine and for what I need in order to feel safe, secure, happy and exhilarated in life. At this time, I have no choice but to buck up and stand stronger than I ever have before.
The three most important topics that I will begin to really dive deeper into are the following:
My relationship with my mother - Making me feel completely unloved all while managing her mental health yet wanting me to validate her along the way
My previous marriage - My ex was a Marine during Operation Enduring Freedom. The PTSD turned into alcoholism, which turned into 15 years of chaos.
My entry into the lifestyle, how much it truly impacted me based on all the other things I had going on in life. Leading me to want to speak the hard truths and messiness of it all. It's not as glorious as everyone thinks. However, if one is truly living their truth with their partner, in full, open, honest transparency, then it can be remarkable.
All of these things have played a huge part in my mental health downfall. Its unbelievable how they all fit together to complete the puzzle. My therapist has told me time and time again … until I see the similarities between my mom and ex-husband, I will never truly heal. I get it now. I have spoken about things in such a general, matter of fact way. I never really processed the severity of it all.
Recent revelations & triggers have led me to want to speak even stronger, bringing attention to hard topics, all while being so vulnerable along the way.
The beginning has been so therapeutic. I can not imagine what this next phase will bring. I am at a pivotal point of no longer feeling afraid to voice my true feelings in fear that it will be emotionally hurt someone. I've always spoken with positive notations to minimize the impact towards someone else. I now realize that was and is me, minimizing myself in order to make others feel ok. Every single time I went back to take another emotional hit (and in certain circumstances some sort of physical) I lost a piece of me. I'm ready to reclaim every moment, really acknowledging how it made/makes me feel, and then setting it free.
My emotions are flying high - sad, mad, confused, overwhelmed.... you name it. I feel it. Through my writings, you may feel it too. Thank you for being part of the healing process.
If you’d like to explore more, my blogs are full of personal stories, resources, and thought-starters to help you and your partner navigate this path. You can also reach me directly through mizzybender.com — the safest and most authentic place to connect with me.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
Xoxo,
Mizzy
Mizzy Unfiltered – your chance to ask me anything without holding back. From relationships and lifestyle to personal growth and everything in between, nothing is off-limits.
Your submission is 100% anonymous – no names, no judgment, just raw and real talk. Each week, I’ll pick one question to answer in my advice column on Sundays, 7am via my blog.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 42 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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