Is It Ok For a Married Man to Attend a Swingers Party Solo?
- Mizzy Bender
- Oct 6
- 4 min read
Is It Ok For a Married Man to Attend a Swingers Party Solo?
The below question was submitted through Mizzy Unfiltered . Anonymously submit your question here.
Good morning. So my questions is , is it acceptable for a married man to attend an event solo? My wife and I have attended events together out of state and played with other couples in places like colletes and trapeze. Mostly "hotwifing " and couples swap. She has reached a point in her life where she feels she has done all the things she has wanted to do and wants to take a long break from this lifestyle. She has encouraged me to continue with it if I choose. I still at heart would like to try a few more things. From the perspective of people at a party how would the optics look? I feel like everyone would think im a cheating liar. 😆 Thank you
To hear my perspective on "Is It Ok For a Married Man to Attend a Swingers Party Solo" watch this episode of Mornings with Mizzy.
Navigating the Complexities of the Swinger and Ethical Non-Monogamy Lifestyle
Understanding Relationship Compositions
Every relationship is unique, and in the swinger lifestyle that truth is amplified. Whether you identify with ethical non-monogamy, practice open relationships, or explore other relationship dynamics, clarity is everything.
Ask yourself:
What are my boundaries?
What do I want to experience?
How does my current relationship composition support my desires?
The more you understand your own needs, the easier it becomes to honor them—and respect those of others.
Navigating Judgment and Perceptions
Let’s be real: the non-monogamy community can sometimes feel judgmental. People may whisper or make assumptions, especially if you show up to a swinger event alone. But here’s the truth—your journey is yours. Confidence is your power. If you’re being honest, respecting others, and causing no harm, the perceptions of others are irrelevant. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to show up.
Exploring the Lifestyle
For couples, curiosity is natural. But before jumping in, it’s wise to take things slowly. Attend lifestyle events, observe the energy, and check in with your emotions.
Exploration is not about rushing—it’s about discovery. The more you expose yourself to different environments, the more you’ll learn about your lifestyle boundaries and what truly excites you.
Communication and Alignment with Partners
At the heart of this lifestyle? Communication. Clear, honest, transparent dialogue with your partner sets the foundation for success.
Talk about:
What you want
What you don’t want
What you’re curious about
Where your boundaries lie
And most importantly—listen. Understanding isn’t just about speaking your truth; it’s about hearing your partner’s truth too. Alignment isn’t always instant, but ongoing conversation keeps you connected.
Respect and Avoiding Creepy Behavior
Let’s address the elephant in the room—creepy behavior. It’s unacceptable. Period. Whether it comes from men or women, disrespectful or predatory actions will never be tolerated.
The lifestyle thrives on consent culture, boundaries, and etiquette. Communities are quick to recognize those who don’t honor the rules, and rest assured—they won’t last. Protecting the integrity of the space means protecting the people within it.
Final Thoughts
The swinger and ethical non-monogamy lifestyle is beautifully complex. It’s a mix of self-discovery, deep communication, and community connection. At its core, it asks you to:
Know yourself
Respect your partner
Honor boundaries
Lead with confidence and kindness
This path isn’t for everyone—but for those who choose it, it can be a space of empowerment, exploration, and authentic living.
If you’d like to explore more, my blogs are full of personal stories, resources, and thought-starters to help you and your partner navigate this path. You can also reach me directly through mizzybender.com — the safest and most authentic place to connect with me.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
Xoxo,
Mizzy
Mizzy Unfiltered – your chance to ask me anything without holding back. From relationships and lifestyle to personal growth and everything in between, nothing is off-limits.
Your submission is 100% anonymous – no names, no judgment, just raw and real talk. Each week, I’ll pick one question to answer in my advice column on Sundays, 7am via my blog.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 42 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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