Mizzy Bender Exploring Sexual Empowerment: My Wild Early 20s
- Mizzy Bender
- 6 days ago
- 6 min read
Mizzy Bender Exploring Sexual Empowerment: My Wild Early 20s
Reconnecting and Discovering Freedom
Sometime in the early summer days of 2004 I ran into my old best friend from high school. She truly was an incredible, giving person. I appreciated her so much in our younger days. Her family too. If it weren't for them, I probably would not have had a social life. Her mom picked me up and drove me everywhere. Not to mention, I would spend days at a time at her house. She was probably the only real true friend I had during high school. When we reconnected, she told me how she was working as a shot girl. It turned out that few guys from school chipped in and somehow was involved with this bar. I don't know the true specifics but, on Friday and Saturdays she would go and sell shots to the crowd. They were looking for more hype girls, so she offered me a position. I immediately accepted. This sounded like the exact thing I needed in my life. The fun, the sexiness, all of it. Not to mention the extra cash. Mizzy Bender had her own apartment and didn’t realize how many expenses there were when living on your own.
Shot Girl Life: Fun, Flirtation, and Financial Freedom
I did not like the fact that the bar was about 30 minutes away from home, maybe even more. That is a bit far away at 430am, after drinking, etc.. I was really thankful because the dark haired guy would be my designated driver a lot of the time and I did drive with my girlfriend a lot too. My dad picked me up one of the nights as well. What a champ. I know he was so freaked out about me working at the bar like that. However, I am my dad's daughter, so he should not be shocked by my behaviors. I think I definitely gave/give my parents a run for their money. Oh the stories are endless.
I made so much money in tips for just being sexy and fun. It was the perfect job for me. I was having the time of my life. My friend and I would work the room like we owned the place, serving test tube shots one after another.
Because of the bar, I will never ever drink tequila again. One night things were especially spicy at the bar. My girlfriend and I jumped up on the bar like we were in our very own Coyote Ugly scene. The shots being poured, water being sprayed, it was truly a memorable night. One for the books of all time top memories! Not only because it was wildly fun but also because I got wildly sick. OMG. I am so thankful my friend was the designated driver that night.
We both wanted something to eat, of which french fries is usually the go to after a night out. So we decided to head to McDonalds. By the time we hit the drive through, was non stop throwing up through the whole line. I feel like my soul left my body that night. My girlfriend had to take me back to her house because I was such a mess. I think it took two days to recover from that. This also falls into the top 5 moments in life that Mizzy was too fucked up.
From Bad Reputation to Bold Empowerment
Have I mentioned that I had a bad reputation in high school? Well, I did, and honestly, I never did anything to warrant it. But, it was what it was, and I think high school people viewed me in some skanky high school way. I was voted most dramatic for the year book if that gives you any kind of idea what they thought of me. (where it all sparks from is absolutely terrible. Its such a sad story you'll learn about in a future blog)
The worst part about it was that I wanted all that they were saying to be true - sort of. Wouldn't it be great live in a world where you could just be openly flirtatious, hang out with whoever and just be free. I am not saying I wanted to be sexual with everyone, but fun and free, yes. But that was always interrupted as something more. I ended up making a lot of choices in high school try and shield me from all the negativity, but nothing really mattered. People just loved to hate.
It seemed to me, I was making sure to live out all the high school thoughts during the months of Sept-December, 2004. Go big or go home. In fairness, I don’t feel like I was doing anything really extreme, it's just that it was one thing right after the next in such a short period of time with the same people from years ago. It was kind of weird for me, but at the same time I felt like it was my opportunity to possibly make real connections with them now that we were out of school.
I’d also like to mention that even though it was only a few months, it felt like a lifetime. As I type it all out, I can’t believe how short of a time period it all really was. It’s one thing to have memories, it's another to try and chronologically document them. Even more so because I never intended on doing this. Each entry is just as shocking for you as it is for me.
Exploring New Pleasures: My First Anal Experience
One of the guys I was smitten on in high school was somehow involved with the bar. After working there a few times, he and I developed some sort of booty call relationship. Another one for the sexual remember always list … Anal. Yes people, I said it. Anal. He was the only person I had ever done that with and I enjoyed the experience with him. He was so sweet and soft and it just made sense in the moment. There was no hesitation. I was open and willing to explore anything he proposed. With him, I think it was because he was quiet in nature, that when we were privately together, to see him flourish in such a way, was really beautiful. I am not sure I am explaining it right, but it is something like that. He was a relationship I wish I would have explored further at that time and not allowed to be left as a booty call but if I remember correctly, he also had an ex-girlfriend that he was hung up on. So, I get it. I mean, was I really looking for anything serious at the time anyways? No. I was 21 goddamn it. We were just having fun and fun it was!
Reminder … I was still hanging out with dark haired guy also. I was officially sleeping with two guys in the same time period who each provided such delicious pleasures. This was life.
Tune in on Tuesdays, 12pm, for the continuation.
Until then, I will talk to you super soon.
XOXO,
Mizzy
The stories and experiences shared on this blog reflect my personal journey, memories, and perspective. Everything I share here represents my truth, told through my eyes and heart. This content is deeply personal, and out of respect, it should not be copied, shared, or reproduced in any manner without explicit permission.
Each individual mentioned in my stories has played a significant role in my life—people I have deeply cared for, still care for, and hold respect toward. My intention is never to harm, offend, or disrespect anyone. Instead, my aim is to honestly share my experiences, thoughts, and emotions from my personal viewpoint.
Please read these stories understanding that this is solely my perspective, and others involved may see or remember these moments differently.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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