The $1800 Game Changer - Mizzy Bender Making Moves!
- Mizzy Bender
- Apr 8
- 6 min read
The $1800 Game Changer - Mizzy Bender Making Moves!
Why is this all so important to share? (Click here if you need to go back)
Well, my boss is the one who gave me the money to get my apartment. He gave me $1800 for the security and deposit. You see, in his mind, the unit attached to mine would become his, and we would have this secret relationship. Um.. no! I just learned how to play the game. Sir, I am banging your son. Actually, at that time, the relationship had come to an end. I was devastated by that too. I was completely in love with this boy. But, as mentioned, it was forbidden and things went too far. However, he played an impactful part of my sexual exploration. Even though we were young, we had such passion. Such a connection. Probably because it wasn’t allowed. When we were intimate, it was addictive. He is the first person to really finger me. The way he worked those fingers showed me that there is pleasure in all of it. It was pure ecstasy and I wanted more and more. So guys, if you are reading this, Mizzy Bender says ... use all the tools! Don’t get hung up if your pepe doesn't work.
The affair ended right around Christmas / New Years. That means I had 6 months of figuring out how to break up with my boyfriend. How shitty. One day, I grew the balls and had him meet me at the closest parking lot from work so I didn’t chicken out. OMG - it was terrible. He was so sad, crying, and getting sick. He just didn’t understand. Frankly, at the moment, I didn’t care. I didn’t want to turn 21 in this position. I wanted to feel loved and cared for. Like someone actually wanted to be with me. For goodness sakes, I was turning a pivotal age and I wanted it to be the best. So moves were made and that was that. I’d also like to mention that my boyfriend and I did have a sexual relationship to a degree. Every once in a while we would have sex, but I don’t think you could actually consider it that. Certainly no foreplay or anything. We were more like besties who connected at a time I really needed and I will be forever grateful to him.
Mizzy's Big Move
My lease date was for August 1, 2004. Before there was even time to unpack, I had one of the girls from the office move into the empty side. That solved the boss problem! Looking back, how shady, but I couldn’t have him move next door. That would have really been an issue. He was upset with me for a while, but what was I supposed to do if someone wanted to move in there?
Thursday Night Ladies Night
She and I quickly became the best of friends and lived my days into 21 in the most amazing fashion. The amount of fun I had was unexplainable. I was living my best life: 21, single, my own place, a great job. I was so freaking proud of myself.
Thursday night was ladies night. I would dress in my sexiest outfit (jeans and a crop tank usually) and would dance the night away with my girlfriend, not having a care in the world. It was the most freeing time ever. The music blasting and everyone around you is just a blur as you morph into your own little world, taking in the beats, hitting your soul in the most perfect way. This is what 21 was!
Like a Virgin
During one of the first nights out, I eyed this beautiful human from across the room. He had dark hair, super blue eyes, and he observed everyone around him. He was with the same crew time and time again, and behaved in the same reserved manor every time. There was something about him that drew me in. The need to have him want me was strong. It was crazy to have these exciting feelings. It was like I was playing a game in a way. Could I entice him enough? It was a new found freedom that I wanted to explore.
And then it happened, I broke out my power move… Madonna's Like a Virgin. If there is any song to eye fuck to, this is it. It worked like a charm. It only took one time before we started talking. Each week after was just pure fun (I am laughing so much writing this). To this day, when that song comes on, this is the exact moment in time I think about. Anyway, the eye fucking did lead into us hanging out on a pretty regular basis.
Freaky Things in the Bedroom
This was the relationship that showed me I like freaky things in the bedroom. This was the perfect relationship to spend my early months of 21. We had a lot of fun living out the remaining days of summer, making the best memories. Eventually the sunshine came to an end and we would see each other maybe once or twice a week. We lived about an hour from each other, so with schedules at the time, it made it a little difficult. When we would hang out, he would come to my place, stay for days at a time, then go back home. I was quickly learning that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend and had some sort of funky dynamics with his parents, so I was just an escape for him. I don’t think he saw it, but that is what it was and I was totally ok with it. I was living my life, not really taking much too seriously.
Either way, these days were the most sexually eye opening. Not that he really did anything so extreme. It was more so popping me in different positions, bringing a different kind of dominant energy and it was such a turn on. He was also the first guy I ever watched porn with. Yikes, when that moment happened I felt incredibly awkward. Maybe for only a moment or two, but I was shocked. LOL The thing I will take away the most from him is that he showed me that sex was fun, open, and exploratory. He also showed me that I could follow the lead of a more dominant energy.
As I look back, talking through all of this, I am beyond shocked by all the learnings and ah ha moments I'm experiencing. I am truly doing the self work, peeling away the deep layers. Week after week I feel a little more free and a little more empowered.
Follow along as I continue as I tell you the longest life story leading me to the swingers lifestyle.
Check back on Tuesdays, 12pm for the continuation.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
XOXO,
Mizzy
The stories and experiences shared on this blog reflect my personal journey, memories, and perspective. Everything I share here represents my truth, told through my eyes and heart. This content is deeply personal, and out of respect, it should not be copied, shared, or reproduced in any manner without explicit permission.
Each individual mentioned in my stories has played a significant role in my life—people I have deeply cared for, still care for, and hold respect toward. My intention is never to harm, offend, or disrespect anyone. Instead, my aim is to honestly share my experiences, thoughts, and emotions from my personal viewpoint.
Please read these stories understanding that this is solely my perspective, and others involved may see or remember these moments differently.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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