My First MFM Lifestyle Experience: Absolutely Mind-Bending
- Mizzy Bender
- Jul 10
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 24
My First MFM Lifestyle Experience: Absolutely Mind-Bending
When had my first lifestyle experience, it was in a couple swap which is what I was accustomed to through my lifestyle journey.
So when it came to having my first MFM lifestyle experience, of course I was excited—but I was also scared and nervous. You go through all these emotions. But, I always wanted to give it a try, so this was my time to shine.
In the back of my mind i did have these thoughts of omg I going to be the only girl here! Am I going to be able to please them both?
I guess we would soon find out.
Setting up the MFM Threesome
There was one particular guy that Spencer and I discussed asking to join us. As I was educating myself on this new situation, Spencer was super supportive with no pressure ever. Eventually, I become bold enough to make the leap so one day I woke up and said... today is the day! It could also be that I was becoming increasingly bored during COVID lockdown that they only thing for us to do was bang.
We had one single guy friend that we still hung out with. Don't judge us, but having little human contact was difficult as you all know.
So one day while Spencer was out hanging with this guy, I texted him and said: "Is so-and-so available to play?" I wanted to plant the seed knowing we were going to see him later that night. Spencer replied, “Hmm. IDK.” I wish I had a better understanding of communication at this time but learning it is all part of the journey.
I had developed a really great relationship with this guy. There was trust and that’s key for me. If I don’t feel safe, I’m not doing it. We also had explored lightly early on, so I knew we had sexual chemistry or at least a flowy flirtatious relationship.
When Spencer came home, he and I didn’t say a word about it. I went about my business cooking dinner. I got prettied up although I wasn’t wearing anything crazy. Simple with my hair down. But with the possibilities of playing, I wanted to at least try and be a little more put together than normal. Afterall, first impressions are everything. What kind of impression was I trying to make with someone I hung out with all the time, I have no idea, but it felt like the right thing to do. I must have done a good job because as soon as Spencer walked in he said, “Oh my God, you look so pretty.” That made my heart smile. He is always so lovely with his lovely comments. Always making me feel like the prettiest girl in the room! That really set my confidence up for success going into the unknown world of two pepe's.
Eventually our friend arrived and we were super chill, just chatting the night away. It was natural. Organic. We didn’t say “Let’s go get naked.” It just flowed. The three of us can sit for hours talking about endless topics all while smoking our faces off. That's exactly what I love about this lifestyle. Being with likeminded humans who fit my sexual composition. Remember, it is different for everyone and at this time, I had no idea how incredible things could get.
I was becoming a bit out of sorts with my thoughts, not knowing how to tackle this play situation. Truthfully, I thought Spencer had a conversation earlier in the day with him, so I thought we were all on the same page that night. Well, that is not true at all because our friend had no idea this was on the table. Spencer just blurted out during our conversation....
Mizzy wants you to play with us.
Just like that.
Our friends jaw dropped out of shock. It came out of left field. Of course I laughed and said I thought you would have mentioned this earlier when I texted you. This is when I learned that you need to be super clear when communicating. You need to say exactly what you mean and want so there can be no confusion.
With the shock running through his mind, we opened a great dialog discussing all aspects of this scenario. I really appreciated how they both were so sweet in their approach with me. I felt like we just opened pandoras box and the magic was about to be unleased.
Unleash the Sexual Desires
Spencer gave me a wink. He gave me that look of —it’s okay. That moment meant everything to me. Since
this was my first time in this situation, having him there to gently guide me, support me and love me along the way was as much as a turn on as the rest of it.
So I casually went to my closet room, put a hair tie on my wrist, came back out and sat down. I was reading Spencer's eyes a lot. Maybe I needed the reassurance one more time... I am not sure but I eventually built up the courage to make my move.
I slowly went behind our friend, wrapped my arms around him, and started gently kissing his neck. I love that. On a girl or a guy, doesn’t matter—it’s sensual. It is one of my favorite things. It is so sexy and energizing. Yummmmm. Kissing is the fuel like gets my juices flowing. I can't get enough. So much sexual desire can be communicated through a kiss.
I was taking my time. Feeling my way through what to do next. Spencer must have sensed it because he softly said, “Whatever you’re feeling, do. Whatever you’re not feeling, don’t.”
With that, we all migrated to the living room utilizing the couch and floor. I was on my knees, going back and forth between the two of them. In that moment, I realized how much I absolutely love multiple play partners at once. In my prior life I always fantasized about all sorts of things. To be able to feel the energy, be part of this exhilarating release of sexual pleasure. It is so incredible. It is hard to explain if you are if you are someone who is afraid to open your mind big enough for extraordinary things. Society has made us feel that these behaviors are wrong. But why? It makes no sense to me. I want everyone to feel the open minded pleasures that come from these scenes. And goodness, the pleasures were out of this world.
After spending time orally pleasing both of them, it was time to really get down and dirty. We played in the living room for a while. Kissing. Feeling them. Dicks in my mouth. Fingers everywhere. Sensations everywhere. Euphoric.
My body and brain were on over drive. In this moment, I truly feel like I let me guard down and was able to really be in the moment of sexual pleasures in so many ways. We took this energy into the bedroom for some more goodness.
Double Penetration… Yes, Please
So, double penetration happened. And ladies—that shit feels fucking amazing. We’d played with toys, but this? This was real.
I was on all fours. Spencer in front and our single guys behind, deep inside me. There's something about that position that turns me on so very much. If you are going to try it, positioning is key. Be careful, take your time and don't be afraid.
From Fisting to Explosions
Yup—I was being fisted. I had no idea this was possible. I had no idea it would feel so good. They used and abused my body so much. Don't get me wrong, I do know when I have hit my limit, but it was COVID and the only thing to do was bang. Who cares if my body needed a few days to regroup. I'd be right back at it in a few days!
The emotions were everywhere. These two guys knew how to flow and let me flow between them. The chemistry was off the charts. It was down, dirty, aggressive and just delicious. It was absolutely addicting. We flowed through so many compositions and positions. Some of which blew my mind.
It is also important for me to have solo time with our guests. Spencer watches for a while and then will join in when he is ready.
After a few hours, I was getting tired - physically and mentally. Our guy was using my body in every yummy way possible. I needed to bring this play night to an end and tap out. YES I TAP OUT. When I have had enough, I have had enough. Spencer knew I was hitting my limits too, so he took over, spread my legs, got in there deep and ....... I came so hard.
Pro tip: When I ask if I can come, it means I'm about to come really hard and I’m done after that.
That Addictive Swingers Lifestyle Feeling
You ever hear people say swinging is addictive? I get it. That moment? That rush? That chemistry? Yeah, I get it.
You just have to be able to separate intensity from reality. But that experience? Explosive. The chemistry was already there as I mentioned, so every time after got better and better because we were getting more comfortable.
Afterglow Reflections
OMG - that night I became hooked on the lifestyle. This is the night I realized I needed a friendship on a deeper level to want to play with you. This was the time period that I realized shaping my play compositions into ongoing friends with benefits was my way of swinging.
I also realized what Spencer meant when he said "when the stars and moon align, you will know you want to play." Comparing this play setup to previous ones, I knew this was the style for me. We classify ourselves as situational swingers because of it. This description is a recent one, but it fits us perfectly.
I asked Spencer what he thought of this whole experience that night and he told me: “Seeing you so relaxed, in the moment, not uncomfortable… that was my favorite part.”
And that stuck with me. Because I was. I was absolutely in the moment. Loving every second of it.
From that night on, I was hooked on exploring my sexual desires, opening my mind and really becoming free in my mind, body and soul.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
XOXO,
Mizzy
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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