Behind the Scenes of a Swingers Lifestyle Party in Rhode Island
Event: Mindbender Parties Back to School
Location: Providence, Rhode Island
Date: September 12, 2026
Type: Swingers lifestyle event
Hosted by: Mindbender Parties
Friday: Getting Ready for Our Rhode Island Lifestyle Party
Setting the Stage
It’s Friday morning, and I’m totally looking forward to this adventure. It’s time to host Mindbender Parties Back to School Swingers Lifestyle Party in Rhode Island. For this blog, you will get the play by play of each day. I’ve learned over the years that it's easiest to write on the road, capturing everything in current time. Once we recieve the photos from the photographer, I will update the blog for your viewing pleasure and curiosities.
Let the Adventure Begin
The great thing about this trip is that I actually feel prepared. Mind, body and soul. I have been doing the work, so I am proud to say, I am officially ready.
My outfits are mapped out. Everything is packed in individual outfit bags, making it easier to get myself
more organized when it’s time to get ready each day. Also, there’s no last-minute stress or anxiety. Making my lists and really focusing on packing really helped settle any uncomfortable feelings I may have. Many times, I feel so insecure with my outfit because I barely try anything on. I usually just wing it. That’s no good. So, I am making it a priority to really map everything out for every trip going forward.
Even though it is hectic, I’m looking forward to getting on the road. Heading back to Rhode Island to host another Mindbender Parties event is always a fun adventure. You just never know where the weekend will take us.
More than anything, I’m going into this weekend wanting to make memories. This is my new mantra in life. After all the issues I have had with my mental health, I am ready to embrace life in a much different way.
I want to enjoy the road trip. I want to capture the behind-the-scenes moments. I want to be present during the party instead of letting the responsibilities of hosting make the entire night fly by. This is a new Mizzy. One that I've been working on all year. One that is ready to tackle the world in bright bold colors!
15 Minutes Before We Leave
We’re about fifteen minutes from leaving for Rhode Island. Spencer is handling the last few things that need to be packed - mostly his personal stuff, and I’m just chillin.
I caught myself in deep reflection on how far I’ve come in my mental health journey. I feel good. I feel excited. But more than anything, I feel happy that I am me again. There has been a lot of work, a lot of uncomfortable moments, and a lot of learning about myself along the way. Allowing myself the permission to live for me, stand by my choices and build a life that looks happy for ME. Yes, that sounds selfish, but if your personal foundation isn’t solid and happy, your foundation with others will feel off balance too. So, be selfish for a minute and become who you really want to be.
Sitting here today, waiting to leave for another adventure, I feel proud. Feeling the feels, knowing I truly am happy and healthy.
I am really fucking proud.
Believe me, not everything is completely perfect. Life didn’t suddenly become easy …. Well, I mean, it kind of did because I did the work. I got myself to a place where I can sit here fifteen minutes before a trip and actually feel the excitement instead of being consumed by the anxiety. Freaking the fuck out.
How incredibly amazing to have come so far. It has been 8 months of commitment to myself. Setting up new routines, building a new life in every single area of my world. I really felt this was so important to share. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But you can do it. Please know, you are not alone.
Friday Evening: On the Road to Rhode Island
6:27 PM. We’re officially on the road and heading to the ferry.
The drive was easy peasy, especially because it was later in the day. We were originally taking a 7pm ferry out, but pushed it to 8pm. I was actually really happy about that because I had to work until 4pm, getting home at 4:30pm. If we took the 7pm, we would have had to leave the house no later than 5:15pm. 45 minutes felt extremely rushed for me. When I learned I had so much more time to unwind from the day, I felt a burst of joy in my soul.
We were on my most favorite ferry with the upper bar/lounge area. If you time it right, you can grab the couches in the corner, making for a spectacular travel. By that time, I was ready to nap, so I quickly ate my wrap and went to sleep.
That was pretty much it. Once I fall asleep, I just want to keep sleeping because I feel meh. So, I went right to sleep once we were in the truck, driving the final 40 minutes of the trip.
Upon arrival, Spencer checked us in and brought our bags up while I slept in the car and stayed with the furbabies. Once he finished all that, he parked the truck, and we made our way to our room.
I was sleeping in minutes. I really needed it. We had an amazing week prior and I was feeling a little depleted from it. So, catching up on all this rest was major, especially because I knew I was going to try really hard to be part of the party. You know, mingle, dance, all that.
Saturday: Setting Up Our Mindbender Lifestyle Party
Set up dayyyyyyyyyy!!! And so far, today has been such an amazing day.
It started around 8:00 AM when my bestie, who also happens to be my amazing hair specialist, picked me up for a fresh new dye. And, of course, we spent most of the time laughing at completely ridiculous things that probably wouldn't be funny to anyone but us. There is a reason we're Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. We really do live up to the names. I think it gets worse as time goes on. Either that, or we just truly embrace each other, that it becomes overly ridiculous. Either way, I find it to be hilarious. Bless the hearts to those that have to deal with us when together.
After my hair was done, we headed over to the club and ended up being the first ones there. Normally when we arrive, the club is already arranged the way we need it for a Mindbender party. Unfortunately, the owner wasn't feeling well, so this time we had a little more work waiting for us.
No biggie. We got right to it. The two of us started moving furniture, rearranging the space, and getting everything into position so that when Spencer arrived with the trailer, we'd be ready to unload and start transforming the club.
BOOM! 10:30 AM, Spencer pulled in.
And it was ON.
The trailer opened, the equipment started coming out, and everyone immediately found their groove. There wasn't a whole lot of standing around wondering what needed to happen next. Everyone knew their jobs, tackled their tasks, helped wherever they were needed, and piece by piece, the club started turning into our Back to School Mindbender party space.
Watching everyone work together like a well-oiled machine is honestly one of my favorite parts of setup. We are super busy, but also make sure we have the greatest time. I love the small moments. Who am I kidding, mostly the whole day is full of shenanigans. Here you have a group of humans who truly do not give a fuck about anything. The banter is insane, hilarious and energizing.
Sunday Morning: Reflecting on Our Swingers Lifestyle Party
It’s Sunday morning, and Spencer is still sleeping next to me while I sit here quietly reflecting on last night. My favorite time of day, when all the world sleeps.
There’s something I love about these little moments after an event. The music has stopped, the lights are off, the adrenaline has settled, and I finally have a chance to think about everything that happened. This time around feels especially important to reflect, especially because of my thought process and attitude going into the weekend.
And, I have to say, last night was awesome.
It ended up being a more intimate party, and honestly, that was totally cool because the vibe was great. Sometimes it isn't about how many people are in the room. It's about the energy of the people who are there, and last night just felt good.
I danced. Holy ish, did I dance! It was my main mission going into the night and I proudly succeeded. I don't think I've danced that much in forever, and I didn't realize how badly I needed it until I was in the middle of it. My soul absolutely needed the beats. There is something about dancing that is so good for the nervous system. Especially when the EDM hits and you're ALL IN. The music is loud. Your body takes over. Your brain gets quiet. There is nothing like it. A little Rave in my head. It was fantastic! Thank you to DJ Will B for taking my song recommendations.
And can we talk about my outfit?! I think it came together amazingly well! Once we get the photos back from the photographer, I'll update the blog so you can actually see the finished look. But, I really took my time. I wanted to think about all the accessories that make the Mizzy style, creating something that makes me feel bold and confident. I accomplished the mission!
Everyone really put thought into the theme, too. I love seeing how different people interpret it and make it their own. Looking around the club and seeing everyone dressed up and having fun was awesome.
I lived up to my thoughts of staying in the moment. Because of that, I didn't take a ton of photos. I captured some little video snippets throughout the night, but I made a conscious decision not to think about working. I wanted to have fun. Dance. Connect. Disconnect a little. I didn't want to spend the entire night worrying about capturing content or all the other pieces of the job.
It's all about balance. If you've been following my journey, you know that's something I've really been working on.
I can be the host. I can be the business owner. I can be Mizzy Bender. I can create content and think about the next blog, Reel, event or business idea. But I can also just be there. Last night, I let myself do that. Frankly, it was the best decision I made! One that will continue on from here forward.
I was also SO excited to see so many happy shoppers coming through Mizzy's Boutique. I changed my setup around for this event, and to me, it really made a difference. Of course, I walked away with a few things I'd like to improve for next time. That's actually one of my favorite parts.
I love figuring out what worked, what didn't, what could be better and what we can try next. I love learning how to grow and build. It's all learning. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how successful you become. If you've reached a point where you aren't still learning, changing and growing, are you really successful at all?
By the time the night finally ended, I was absolutely exhausted. But I was also smiling from ear to ear. I was so proud of myself. I did it! And had so much fun!
How I’m Feeling the Morning After
Physically? I’m tired. We didn't get to bed until around 3:00 AM, and of course, my eyes were back open at 6:00 AM. So I'm operating on approximately three hours of sleep over here.
My poor feetsies! Apparently dancing your ass off all night comes with consequences. But underneath the exhaustion and sore feet, I feel really peaceful. Sooooo … bring on Boo! (October 24, 2026)
Dancing really does something to the soul. There’s something about completely losing yourself in the music, moving your body and just being there that I think I needed more than I realized. Something I want to make sure we do more frequently.
Am I ready to go home? Yes, I'm ready. These weekends are so much fun, but they're also a hustle. There's the traveling, setting up, hosting, running the boutique, breaking everything down and everything else happening behind the scenes.
I'm ready to get home, settle back into my routine and start strategizing again.
My Favorite Part of the Weekend
If I had to pick my favorite part of the weekend, it would honestly be getting to spend time with my bestie.
Living in different states fucking blows. So when we're together, I try to squeeze in as much time with her as I possibly can. From getting my hair done Saturday morning to moving furniture around the club, setting up, laughing at things that absolutely nobody else would find funny, and just getting to exist in the same place for a little while...My heart needs that.
Those moments are probably some of the simplest parts of the entire weekend, but they're also some of the most important to me. Having that time together really is the best medicine. When I think about why I wanted to come into this weekend focused on making memories, this is exactly what I meant.
Hosting a Lifestyle Party From a Different Headspace
Hosting felt different this time around. I was in such a good headspace. I felt calm. I felt confident. I felt ready to take on the night. And I think that allowed me to experience the party differently, too. Instead of the suffocating feeling I always had, I could actually enjoy what we had created.
Building This Together
Another thing I found myself thinking about this morning is Spencer and me. We really are a team. I think we balance each other incredibly well, but that doesn't mean we haven't had to learn how to do that. (Currently writing a new blog on this subject) As much as I am saying I am proud of myself, and I am equally proud of him. He had to become more understanding and softer in a way. He also had to grow through my anxiety. I wish I could say I am sorry I impacted him in that way, but I am not. We’ve both grown so much and I am just so in love with us.
Spencer can go, go, go with seemingly no problem. I cannot. I need space sometimes. I need to step away. I need quiet. I need time by myself to decompress and reset. That was something we had to really come together on and learn about each other. And I appreciate that Spencer now gives me the space to do that without making me feel like I need to keep up with his pace. At the same time, I know I need to give more to balance it all out.
I can disappear for a little while, recharge my battery and come back when I'm ready. I'm really grateful to have a partner who understands that. We don't have to operate the same way to make a great team. We just have to understand how the other person operates.
Watching Mizzy's Boutique Grow at Lifestyle Events
Seeing people shop at Mizzy's Boutique really made my heart smile. I've been working really hard on shifting and growing the boutique into an overall bold adult boutique, rather than keeping it centered specifically around the lifestyle where it originally started.
That's a big evolution for the business. So seeing people within our community respond positively to that shift, browse the new setup and actually purchase things felt like a little confirmation that I'm moving in the right direction.
The part I love… I'm building. I'm experimenting. I'm paying attention to what people respond to. And I'm learning as I go. Seeing that evolution happening in real life, instead of just looking at it on a website or thinking about it in my head, felt really fucking good.
Sunday Cleanup: And Then Everything Went Sideways
Well... cleanup was a mess.
It was pouring. Not a little drizzle either. We/Spencer were absolutely sopping wet while trying to get everything packed up and out of the club.
We couldn't exactly take our time like we usually do. We learned Saturday night that there was another event coming into the club after us, so we had to hustle. Everything needed to come down, get packed, get loaded into the trailer and get out of there before 12pm.
Once we got everything done we chilled at the hotel until it was time to head to the ferry. We were scheduled for the 3:00 PM, and that's when our next adventure began.
There was construction near the hotel with some very unclear detour signs, which ended up costing us about seven minutes. Seven minutes might not sound like a big deal. When you're trying to catch a ferry, seven minutes is HUGE. If you're one minute late, you're not getting on.
Eventually, we made it to the highway and somehow managed to make up enough time that our GPS was showing we'd arrive with about a three-minute buffer. Okay. We're going to make it.
Except… ACCIDENT.
Traffic started backing up, and then we came to a complete stop. We were only about 15 minutes from the ferry port. At this point, our three-minute buffer disappeared, and so did any confidence that we were actually making this ferry.
So now we're sitting here trying to decide: Do we miss the 3:00 PM ferry, wait around Rhode Island for the next available ferry at 7:00 PM… or say fuck it and drive home?
Fuck It, We're Driving Home
After realizing we weren't going to make the ferry, Spencer looked at me and said, "Close your eyes and go to sleep."
So that's exactly what I did. Apparently I was a little more exhausted than I realized because the next thing I knew, I woke up in our driveway. From what I can tell, the ride went pretty smoothly. And here's the interesting part: we arrived home only about 15 minutes later than we would have if we'd taken the ferry.
That definitely gave us something to think about. Taking the ferry has always been part of these Rhode Island trips, especially because we're traveling with the trailer and all of the equipment we need. But between the cost of the ferry and the fuel surcharges getting increasingly ridiculous, driving home doesn't seem like such a crazy idea.
We're 41 feet on the boat with everything we're hauling. That's a whole lot of space on that ferry. So now I'm curious to see what we decide for future Rhode Island trips. Maybe we'll keep taking the ferry. Maybe we'll start driving. Or maybe it'll depend on the trip. Either way, they will all be adventures, that I am sure!
And after a weekend of traveling, setting up, hosting, dancing until my feet hated me, spending time with some of my favorite humans, running the boutique, tearing everything back down in the pouring rain and then completely sleeping through the drive home...
I woke up in my own driveway.
Back to School 2026 weekend officially complete. Like a Boss!
Xoxo,
Mizzy
Bold. Unfiltered. Empowered.
FAQ
What is a Mindbender lifestyle party?
A Mindbender lifestyle party is an adults-only event created for people in or curious about the swingers and ENM lifestyle. Our parties are about so much more than sex. They are about meeting people, socializing, dancing, dressing up for our themes, making connections and having a great night surrounded by open-minded humans. We create an environment where you can explore the evening at your own comfort level. I like to say we are a melting pot of amazing humans.
What happens at a swingers lifestyle party?
Every swingers lifestyle party is different, but at Mindbender Parties you can expect a combination of socializing, music, dancing, themed outfits and designated play areas, dance pole and shadow box. Some people come to connect with friends, some meet new people, some dance their asses off, and others may choose to explore the more adult side of the event. There isn't one "right" way to enjoy a lifestyle party. A club atmosphere with a sexy spin.
Do you have to participate at a lifestyle party?
Absolutely not. Attending a lifestyle party does not mean you are agreeing to participate sexually with anyone. Consent and personal boundaries matter. You get to decide what you're comfortable with, who you interact with and what your night looks like. You can socialize, dance, meet people and enjoy the atmosphere without participating in any sexual activity.
What do people wear to a themed swingers party?
This is one of my favorite parts! Our Mindbender Parties have themes, and people can have a LOT of fun putting their outfits together. Some humans go all out, while others keep it simple. Sexy, playful, creative, bold or completely over-the-top... make the theme your own. The most important thing is wearing something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Are Mindbender Parties held in Rhode Island?
Yes! Mindbender Parties hosts lifestyle events in Rhode Island. In fact, this entire blog follows one of our Rhode Island weekends for our Back to School lifestyle party, including traveling, setting up the venue, hosting the party and everything that happened behind the scenes. We do host one Long Island summer party every year as well.
If you're looking for upcoming Rhode Island lifestyle parties, check the Mindbender Parties event schedule for current dates and event information.
What should someone expect at their first Mindbender party?
If it's your first Mindbender party, expect to walk into a room filled with adults who are there for many different reasons. Some are experienced in the lifestyle, some are newer, and some may simply want to socialize and experience the atmosphere.
Come in without putting pressure on yourself to do anything. Meet people. Ask questions. Dance. Take in the atmosphere. Communicate with your partner if you're attending together, respect other people's boundaries and give yourself permission to experience the night at your own pace.
Your first Mindbender party doesn't need to be about checking things off a sexual bucket list. It can simply be about walking through the door and seeing where the night takes you.
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