What is Your Play Style as a Swinger?
- Mizzy Bender
- 4 hours ago
- 3 min read
What is Your Play Style as a Swinger?
This is a continuation of "Questions to Ask Potential Swingers Lifestyle Play Partners"
Blog One: Pretty direct and aimed at self reflection for the best lifestyle experience
Blog Two: How Long How you Been in the Swingers Lifestyle?
Another really important conversation to have is about play style. I am very direct in asking "what is your play style as a swinger?" Everybody is going to have a different answer. It could even vary between committed partners. You need to be open-minded enough to know you may hear things you never thought existed. You need to listen without judgement, making the decision on whether the answers fit with your style. It is ok if they do not. If something sounds intriguing, say so, but also mentioned you are completely new to it to ensure safety while exploring.
I personally like things a little more down and dirty. Not everybody plays that way. So for me, If we meet a new couple and they're not exactly on my line of playing, am I going to want to proceed to play with them? The questions I then need to ask myself are ....
Why did I became a swinger?
What is it that I'm looking for from this swinger composition?
Do I feel like my sexual desires will be met?
Once you self reflect, hopefully you are honest with yourself and will walk away if all the boxes aren't checked. That's the time to have the conversation with them to say hey, listen, it's been great hanging out with you but I just don't think our play styles are aligned. I'm going to have to step away from that part of this relationship. If you would like to continue with a friendship, then that would be great. Remember... not everybody wants to be swinger friends, so you have to be open to rejection even on the friendship level.
If all the questions have been answered to your liking, you have officially, made your way through some of the important topics laying the foundation for the next set of tough conversations..... STD's & testing!
If you’d like to explore more, my blogs are full of personal stories, resources, and thought-starters to help you and your partner navigate this path. You can also reach me directly through mizzybender.com — the safest and most authentic place to connect with me.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
Xoxo,
Mizzy
Mizzy Unfiltered – your chance to ask me anything without holding back. From relationships and lifestyle to personal growth and everything in between, nothing is off-limits.
 Your submission is 100% anonymous – no names, no judgment, just raw and real talk. Each week, I’ll pick one question to answer in my advice column on Sundays, 7am via my blog.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 42 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
