Questions to Ask a New Swinger Partner
- Mizzy Bender
- Nov 11
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 14
Questions to Ask a New Swinger Partner
Submitted through Mizzy Unfiltered
I am starting to explore the swingers lifestyle and I am afraid and unsure of the questions I should be asking.
Questions to Ask a Potential Swinger Partner. This is a topic that is constantly spoken about. This is what I'm going to say to you ... there is no question that is off bounds or off limits if it's important to you. One thing to remember is that YOU are making the decision to sleep with somebody else. It is not your problem if someone has the expectation that they should be able to sleep with you. This is your body. This is your choices. You decide who enters and who doesn't, and what you enter and what you don't. So if you feel like a question is appropriate to ask and they're not answering, maybe they're not the play partner(s) for you. These questions are going to look different to all of us. We all have different priorities, different lifestyle relationships and compositions.
You have to feel confident and secure in the decision that you're making. You don't want to leave anything open, and if that means talking to many couples before actually banging, then so be it. Patience is a virtue. I think we miss this point a lot in the lifestyle. There's this idea, that since the word 'swinger' is out there, that they should be fucking all the time. But that's really unrealistic.
You need to think about the things that will make you feel safe, sexy and exhilarated. My recommendation to you is to grab a piece of paper and pen, writing out all the things you need to feel fulfilled in a play composition. Once you understand that, create the questions you need answered in order to approve a play partner.
Take your swingers lifestyle into your own hands and do the self work.
When the stars and moon align, you will know you want to play. Do not settle. It is really that simple.
If you’d like to explore more, my blogs are full of personal stories, resources, and thought-starters to help you and your partner navigate this path. You can also reach me directly through mizzybender.com — the safest and most authentic place to connect with me.
Until next time, I will talk to you super soon.
Xoxo,
Mizzy
Mizzy Unfiltered – your chance to ask me anything without holding back. From relationships and lifestyle to personal growth and everything in between, nothing is off-limits.
Your submission is 100% anonymous – no names, no judgment, just raw and real talk. Each week, I’ll pick one question to answer in my advice column on Sundays, 7am via my blog.
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Background: Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 42 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains traveling the East Coast putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has since migrated into a traveling pop up boutique at swingers / alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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