Fight or Flight Mode: Coping with Anxiety, Surgery Fears & Business
- Mizzy Bender
- Aug 26
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 4
Fight or Flight Mode: Coping with Anxiety, Surgery Fears & Business
Navigating Anxiety and Surgery
On top of my emotional self-reflection, I was in serious fight or flight mode. I felt like I was losing control more and more as the days passed. I was visiting the doctor weekly, and I kind of was. I never had time to calm down from one appointment before jumping into another. I was literally going through the motions of life, trying to reach the finish line. Coping with anxiety is rough stuff.
I had my two-week check-in with my primary care doctor, just one week before the actual surgery. I told her everything that was happening and how terrified I was of dying. She knew my fear was real. I could tell. She sat with me for a long time, explaining that I am a healthy individual and classified as a zero-risk patient. She detailed the roles of everyone in the surgery room. The anesthesiologist would be watching me the entire time. She did her best to calm me down, providing as much information as she could in the most balanced, kind voice.
She also prescribed me four days' worth of beta blockers to take leading up to the surgery. I’ll tell you what, those beta blockers felt like clouds. I still had major anxiety, but not to the point of shaking.
The Show Must Go On
Oh, did I mention that we had to host our Shamrocks & Shenanigans event in Rhode Island the very weekend leading into surgery? I was beyond overwhelmed and freaking out the entire weekend. Everyday life was still happening—work, podcasting, social media. All of it.
Living a functioning life while in a constant state of anxiety is incredibly challenging. I’m sure many of you can relate. It is suffocating, exhausting, and extremely hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it personally. The weeks leading up to surgery, sleep became my best friend. The world was just too much to handle.
Shamrocks & Shenanigans: A Community Support
I am so thankful to our besties and the entire Mindbender team. That weekend, they really pulled together for me and the event. We knew it would be stressful and rushed since Spencer wanted us to be in our house on Long Island by 4 PM Sunday, allowing me the time needed to rest.
Event weekends are no joke. Sure, they are fun, but they involve a ton of work. It’s three hours of travel on Friday and Sunday. There’s an all-day setup at the club on Saturday, followed by partying until 2 AM. Many times, we aren’t back to the hotel until 3-3:30 AM. Then it’s back at the club for 10 or 11 AM to break everything down. It is exhausting.
I think the entire team was secretly freaking out about the timing, knowing this wasn't the best scenario because we had plans in place for everything! One of our besties brought blankets and pillows, setting up a bed in his car for me to use at any point during the party. We all knew that once I took the beta blocker, I had about 30 minutes before feeling super tired. I pushed myself to be the best hostess I could, smiling and dancing through a true state of fear.
The reminder here is: be kind to everyone. You have no idea what they are really going through. I have always felt this way, but this situation really hits it home.
I made it to 11:20 PM and then went to sleep in the car for the remainder of the event.
Sunday went exactly as planned. Spencer was a rock star at holding down the Mizzy emotional fort. He kept me going and on task. He took care of me in every single way leading into that morning. I wouldn't have made it without him.
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The Importance of Community
Community is everything, especially when facing challenges like surgery and anxiety. The support I received from my friends and team made all the difference. They understood my fears and rallied around me, ensuring I felt cared for.
In the world of ethical non-monogamy, having a supportive community can make navigating life’s ups and downs much easier. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, surgery fears, or just the everyday stresses of life, knowing you have people who understand can be a game-changer.
Embracing the Journey
As I continue my journey, I realize that it's essential to embrace both the good and the bad. Life is a series of experiences that shape us. Each moment, whether filled with joy or anxiety, contributes to our growth.
So, you're curious about ethical non-monogamy, or maybe you're already deep into the lifestyle? Awesome! I'm here to spill the tea, share my personal stories, and hook you up with seriously good educational resources. Think of me as your go-to... a judgment-free zone where we connect. Plus, Mizzy's Boutique has got some choice curated novelty products, and Mindbender Parties? Oh honey, those are for experiencing the lifestyle firsthand. Let's do this!
XoXo,
Mizzy
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Background: Embracing Life's Journey
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to discuss all the down, dirty, and not-so-fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female who isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life, from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 42-year-old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers/Adult Lifestyle community. If you believe in ethical non-monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started with Mindbender Parties and continues as she travels the East Coast, putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive focus on creating an inclusive and judgment-free environment where we can be ourselves without question. It’s a platform to discuss curious topics and find like-minded individuals to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop that started online and has since migrated into a traveling pop-up boutique at swingers/alternative lifestyle events across the US.
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